What Do You Actually Say When Someone Dominates Group?

Group therapists are often prepared for silence, emotional intensity, resistance, and even conflict. But one of the most common questions clinicians ask—especially newer group leaders—is:

“What do I actually say when someone dominates the group?”

The answer isn’t a single script.
It’s about attunement, structure, and understanding the underlying dynamics of the room.

And interestingly, one of the most instructive moments in my own early group leadership didn’t begin with a dominating member at all.
It began with the opposite: complete silence.

When Silence Becomes the Dominant Force

In 2020, during the first session of a virtual therapy group for teen girls, a familiar dynamic unfolded. The group logged on, cameras on, faces tight with nerves. I asked a few warm-up questions designed to build connection.

No one answered.

The silence took on a life of its own—it dominated.

Some teens looked down. Others fidgeted. A few stared straight ahead. The lack of response wasn’t passive; it was an interpersonal force shaping the entire group environment.

Understanding how to intervene with a dominating member begins with understanding how to intervene with anydominating energy—whether it's silence, chatter, anxiety, or intensity.

Assessing the Moment: What Comes Before the Intervention

Five internal steps guided that first session:

• Pausing long enough to allow authentic responses to surface
• Noticing my own reactions—pressure, self-judgment, or the urge to rescue
• Reading the room for cues about emotional states and readiness
• Letting discomfort breathe instead of rushing to fix it
• Inviting a specific member to speak in a grounded, non-pressured way

In this case, even that didn’t open things up. But the moment offered valuable clinical information: the structure wasn’t supporting participation.

Why Dominating Dynamics Happen (and What to Do About Them)

Dominating behavior—whether it’s one member monopolizing time or silence overwhelming the group—is usually a sign that:

• The format isn’t facilitating balanced participation
• Members feel uncertain, anxious, or unprepared
• The group is mismatched in communication styles
• The norms aren’t yet clear
• A structural change is needed

For that teen group, the solution wasn’t a script—it was a redesign.

Before the next session, the larger group was split into two smaller ones. What emerged was a completely different dynamic: increased safety, more engagement, and far more balanced conversation.

This is a reminder that intervention is not always verbal.
Sometimes the most powerful response is structural.

So, What Do You Say When Someone Dominates?

There are many effective responses, depending on the circumstance. Here are a few examples of clinical language group leaders often find helpful:

• Redirect with care:
  “Let’s pause there so we can hear from others who haven’t had a chance to share yet.”
• Normalize + reset expectations:
  “A lot of people feel eager to speak when they relate strongly to something, but part of group work is making sure everyone has space.”
• Shift focus to the group process:
  “I’m noticing that we’re hearing from the same few voices. What’s it like for the rest of you?”
• Invite reflection:
  “I’m wondering what comes up for you when the group is quieter after you speak.”
• Strengthen norms directly:
  “Let’s revisit our agreements about sharing time so everyone gets the support they came for.”

These interventions help redirect without shaming, maintain safety, and keep the focus on the collective rather than the individual.

The Deeper Principle: Balanced Groups Don’t Happen by Accident

Dominating behavior is rarely just about one person. It’s often a symptom of:

• A group that’s too large
• Insufficient screening
• Unclear expectations
• Inconsistent structure
• Lack of facilitation strategy

Which is why how therapists build, screen, and lead their groups is crucial. A strong foundation prevents many dynamics that later feel “difficult.”

A Resource for Navigating These Moments With Confidence

Group therapy requires skillful navigation of a wide range of interpersonal challenges—dominating members, withdrawn members, late arrivals, emotional intensity, ruptures, and more. Knowing what to say is important, but equally important is knowing why to say it and what clinical outcome you’re supporting.

For clinicians looking to strengthen this skill set, the Group Therapy Leadership Cheat Sheet offers:

• Practical scripts for common challenging moments
• Interventions tailored to both skills-based and process-oriented groups
• Clinical decision-making guidance for sensitive situations
• Examples drawn from real-world group dynamics
• A breakdown of how interventions differ across group formats

This resource is designed to help therapists feel grounded, confident, and prepared—even in moments when the group feels difficult or unpredictable.